Hospitality can feel an awful lot like suffocation

Chinese people are known for being very generous and accommodating to guests, which involves making sure their guests are well-fed and rested.  Sounds nice, right?  Unfortunately, I really don’t eat that much and I have often found myself in an uncomfortable position when I am full but I don’t want to offend people.  Today I visited my Jiangyou host family.  Before I left my apartment, I had several biscuits with Mary and a student- not a huge breakfast, but sizeable. Upon arrival at the family’s home, they offered me an apple, which I gladly accepted, not having had fruit for breakfast.  The grandma then came home and gave me a fried bread-ish thing that I don’t really know how to describe.  I accepted, a little less enthusiastically.  Then Jerry, the son, gave me a moon cake, which I didn’t really want but it was small so I took it anyway. 

Shortly after we went to lunch and I tried to eat only a little, but I think I had already had too much and my stomach protested. We returned home, and I spent the next few hours uncomfortably full and with indigestion.  Later, the grandma offered me some more fruit, and tried telling her no at least twice, and then finally took it just to appease her, but placed it on the table. As the afternoon went on, she started preparing dinner but I was still painfully full, and I knew that if I stayed they would pressure me to eat.  There would be no way for me to be there and not eat.  So around five, I announced that I was leaving, and when they protested and were subsequently confused that I could still be full, I finally just told them my stomach hurt (which was true) and left. 

You may be thinking, “What’s the big deal?  Just don’t eat if you’re full.”  It’s not that easy to say no when an old lady is glaring at you and talking at you in a language you don’t understand and persistently holding out food to you.  Plus it expected that you would accept something when it’s offered, and I think it’s slightly rude to refuse.  It’s really nice to be offered food, but I wish they could understand that when I say I don’t want anymore, that I am not trying to be modest but that I am given an honest assessment of how I am feeling.

Celebrity Status

In many places in China (basically anywhere besides the major cities), foreigners are a rare thing to see.  Thus, whenever I go somewhere, I am met with stares and whispers shared behind hands.  Sometimes it bothers me and I just ignore it, but for the most part it’s pretty amusing.  I’m so used to just blending in and now people are so often fascinated by my mere presence.  I guess I look like a “typical” American, or at least their idea of one, with my blonde-ish hair, green eyes, and pale skin, and I’m always like some rare species that makes a sudden appearance.

            Yesterday I went to another city, Mianyang, to extend my visa with my school’s foreign affairs liaison, Kerry.  His friend teaches at a high school there and so of course I was invited to their class.  From the moment I stepped out of Kerry’s car, I had people staring, and a group of boys walking in front of us kept turning back to stare and whisper.  As we walked off the stairs, a girl ran up to me and said, “You’re beautiful!!” and then ran off again.  When I walked in the classroom, I saw their faces light up as a collective gasp rose from the room.  As funny as it is to be seen as someone so special, I think it is good for the students to see me and hear because they do not get the opportunity to meet and talk with foreigners very often.

It’s a great opportunity for cross-cultural exchange. As long as people don’t interact with people from other cultures and countries, there will continue to be misunderstanding and strife between people.  Sometimes I feel just a little bit self-conscious because I don’t consider myself a typical American since I am not interested in the things that are popular in America.  But then I remind myself to just be me, and usually the students are really excited to hear anything I have to say.  The Chinese students get to see the diversity of Americans, and it doesn’t matter whether I fit what they think of Americans from the media.  In fact, I think it’s better that I don’t because they can learn that not all Americans are the same.  Plus it’s kind of fun to be in the spotlight for once.  If I come back to America with a swelled head, you’ll know why. J

Weekend in good ol' Chengdu

This weekend there was a reunion in Chengdu for all the volunteers currently serving in Sichuan province.  Chengdu is where we had our training in July and August, so it always feels like home to go back there.  Ben, a volunteer serving in Chongqing, and I stayed with Aaron at his apartment in his city which is just outside Chengdu.  Friday night I went with Aaron to his English corner, which was fun but a little overwhelming because of course the students flocked around us because we’re foreigners.  They kept asking what I taught at that school and I would tell them I don’t teach there but at a school in Jiangyou.  Then they asked what I was doing there and when I said I was visiting Aaron, they all assumed he was my boyfriend.  They were sad that I didn’t teach there because they said I was very fun and I smiled a lot. 

            Saturday we went into Chengdu and after waiting an hour and a half at the train station to buy our return tickets for the next day, we met up with Dan, Lindsay, and Nick, who are all volunteers in Nanchong.  We took the subway to our hostel, but because only Nick, Ben, and I had our visas, we had to wait for the others to go to the police station and have the police verify that they have current visas.  Now we know to always have our visas if we are going to a hostel.  Then we went to the university where all the other volunteers were hanging out, and chatted and met new people.  I know everyone in this year’s group of volunteers (China 18s) but I only know a few of the volunteers who’ve been here a year (China 17s), so it was great to meet some of them.  They seem like a great bunch of people.  We went to dinner at a Turkish restaurant which was so fun and made me feel nostalgic for Turkey (it also reminded me of Oxford because some of us found a Turkish restaurant and had a super delicious meal there one day).  My sitemate, Mary, and I had baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, carrot bread, and persimmon bread, so we ate that for dessert.  I’d had to carry all that for two days and it got to be pretty heavy, but it was worth it because everyone was so excited to have baked goods. 

            Next the 17s took us to a club to meet up with some of their friends, and it turned out to be one of our favorite clubs that we’d often gone to during our training.  That was cool because it brought back good memories.  We danced there for a long time and it was very fun, although at one point my glasses got knocked off and I had a few minutes of panic but then my friend helped me find them. Phew!  I have an extra pair but they were at site so I would have had a very difficult time navigating and getting back without them.  Then we hung out at this bar we’d also gone to a few times during training called LanTown.  Some volunteers ended up having a discussion about Ron Paul and politics so I decided it was a good time to take a quick power nap.  Despite the shouting and political rants I dozed off and then felt rejuvenated for our next stop, which was Jellyfish, another of our old favorites.  We again danced our tails off and then headed to McDonalds for a late night/early morning snack (it was like 3:30 AM) before heading to our hostel.  I had thought before we could just save money and stay out all night instead of paying for a hostel. But I was grateful to have a bed and a shower.  Except one of the girl’s cell phone alarm kept going off in the early morning, so every time I came close to falling asleep some stupid song would go off.  Finally the girl in the bunk above me got the phone and just turned it off.  The next morning, we ate at the hostel.  I had apple “pancakes” with honey, which turned out to be crepes, but were still good, and some hot chocolate.  I had been missing pancakes and hot chocolate so it was worth it even though I know I could’ve gotten something cheaper outside of the hostel.  And now I’m inspired to make crepes again!

            It was a great weekend. I love seeing my buddies from training, and it was fun to meet other volunteers.  I’m getting to be a pro at navigating the trains, buses, and subways with my weekend travels!  Last weekend I visited Chongqing… which I realize I haven’t blogged about… and the weekend before that I was again in Chengdu to get a flu shot.  The only thing is that the costs add up, and I don’t want to spend all my money and miss out on other trips.  So I think for a while I’m just going to stick close to my city and get to know that area better.  I heard about a horseback riding and hiking trip in the area of Sichuan province close to Tibet and that would be so amazing, so from now I will try to keep a tighter hold on my purse strings.  And then there’s Vietnam and Thailand, which I also really want to visit.  Plus all the great places in China!!!  I’m so excited thinking about the possibilities.

Striving for More

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.

More than fine, more than just ok. –Switchfoot

Joining the Peace Corps has been something that I’ve dreamed of doing for a long time, and I am truly blessed to be here.  I have to remind myself of this because it is easy to get complacent.  Someone recently asked me what some of the challenges are for me, and ironically my biggest challenge is too much comfort.  During my free time I can do whatever I want, and with a great internet connection and a hard drive of movies and TV shows it is easy to spend a lot of time doing things that are enjoyable but not exactly satisfying and fulfilling.  There is a joke among many PC volunteers that the China should be called Posh Corps because we don’t have the same hardships as volunteers living in mud huts in Africa.  Although I am grateful to have Internet and tons of resources at my fingertips, I don’t want to spend my whole Peace Corps experience on Facebook and watching movies and TV shows.  This weekend I met some great PC volunteers that got here last year, and I was inspired by hearing their stories, about things like determination to get really good at Chinese, passion for learning about China’s history and culture, and the confidence they instilled in their students.

I am going to try to spend every day reading about China.  I found a great-looking blog called http://www.thechinabeat.org/ that has many articles and book reviews about China.  I also found some books about China in my site mate’s apartment.  If you find any interesting book titles or articles about China, please pass them my way.  When I read something interesting, I will be sure to share it here.  I’m especially interested in learning about Chinese minority groups, but anything interesting about the culture or history is also welcome.

Teaching and my Crazy Schedule

It has been requested that I speak about my teaching experience so far, and so here I go!

Let me first explain to you my schedule, because it is a little bit confusing and kind of bizarre.  I teach 14 classes a week at the university, and all are 45 minutes long and freshmen, except for two which are 90 minutes each and sophomores.  Each class has about 50-60 students, and each class has a different group of   students, so if you do the math you will know that I have about 700 students altogether.  700 students with Chinese names I can’t pronounce and I have no chance of remembering.  Of those 700, only 4 are boys!  There is a joke at this school that the boys are like pandas because they are so few in number.  So I have 4 pandas and close to 700 girls.  

The good thing about this schedule is that I only have to make two lesson plans a week, one for freshmen and one for sophomores.  The bad thing is that I am repeating the same thing about 14 times! At least, that’s how it was this first week because I did introductions in all classes.  I hope that once I get a sense of the dynamics of each class I can do different things to make them unique.  This Thursday was especially exhausting because I had five classes, three of which were back to back. By the end, my fingers were covered in pink chalk dust, my voice hurt from talking, my feet hurt from standing, and I was going to go crazy from saying the same thing so much in one day!  The students are very nice and very excited to have a foreign teacher so that helps.

Their excitement is such that sometimes I already feel like I am a performing monkey!  At the request of my students, I have so far spoken Chinese and sang parts of some songs.  The other thing about teaching the same class over and over again is that I can see what gets them excited and then emphasize those points in the next class.  They are surprised when I tell them that I have three brothers, and even more surprised when I say that two are twins!  So you’re welcome, Tom and Chris- you’re celebrities in a country you’ve never even been to!  I’ve learned how to use dramatic pauses and emphasis with my students, and when I introduce my family, I say, “I have…THREE brothers…and the two older ones are TWINS!”  And they all clap and gasp collectively.  It’s pretty cute.

This first week went pretty well, all things considered.  I did come almost 45 minutes late to one class, because my schedule had said the class starts at 2:25 and it really starts at 1:30.  Luckily that was one of my 90-minute classes so I could still teach the second half, but I felt bad because it gave a bad impression.  The students understood that it was not my fault, but still.  Another time I went to what I thought was my classroom and wrote out everything on the board, and then I found out it was the wrong class, and when I got to the right classroom, I only had five minutes to rewrite it all.  That was because there is one building where they do not label the classrooms so I had to guess. Now I always show my schedule to a student when I get to a classroom to make sure it’s the right one!

 I enjoy teaching so far, and although it was overwhelming to have 50 pairs of eyes looking at me in each class, I think my experience with model school really helped me.  From that two weeks I learned how to maintain the flow of the class, how to be mindful of my presence as a teacher and try to appear calm and like I know what I’m doing, and what to expect from my students (for example, that they will not often volunteer to speak because that is not how they have learned. But if I call on someone, most of the time they are willing to give an answer).

Let me share some of the humorous things students have said to me in class so far.  At the end of class, I let the students ask me any questions so they could get to know me.  One girl asked, “What do you think of lesbians?”  Not expecting such a question, I said, “What?”  and she said, “ You know, when two girls like each other.”  I told her I didn’t think it was bad. So then her follow-up question was, “So will you have relations with a girl?”  Yes, that’s DEFINITELY the logical conclusion to my response! (sarcasm).   In the same class, I was asked, “In what situations is it appropriate to use a gun?”  I told her that not everybody has a gun, only some people, and it’s never ok to use it against another person. And then I quickly moved on!  Another funny thing that happened in one class was that there two girls and one pointed to the other and said, “She does not speak English very well, so can she speak Chinese in class?”  My question is, why would you come to an English class if you don’t speak it?  I can’t slow down my whole class to help one person.  I told them I don’t speak Chinese, and then I left to go to my next class.

Quirks and Smiles

When you live abroad, it is unavoidable that you will encounter bizarre things and there will be a lot to get used to. This seems to be especially true in China.  Every day I experience a range of emotions, from elation to frustration and confusion.  I love exchanging smiles and greetings with the students on campus and the shop vendors outside of the campus gates.   Little things make me very happy (like how excited my students got when they learned I have three brothers and that two are twins).  However, there are definitely plenty of things that just don’t make sense to me. 

The washing machine in my apartment is a fine example of bizarre inexplicableness.  Before doing a load of laundry, I hook up a hose to the faucet to fill the machine with water.  Once the load is done, I have to turn a dial to empty the water from the machine.  Now, all the washing machines I’ve seen in the States will rinse the soap off the clothes and wring the clothes so they are not sopping wet when you pull them out.  Also, when the water drains it goes into pipes and you don’t have to worry about it.  Here, though, my clothes come out completely sopping wet and soapy, and the water drains out of the hose onto the floor.  I have to stand there with my foot against the hose to guide it toward the drain (although I’m going to look for a brick or something heavy to keep it in place).  It doesn’t make me angry- in fact, I think it’s rather amusing. But it does mean that washing laundry is a much more hands-on affair than it normally is!  It also means that my excitement at having a bathtub is not because I can take a bath, but because it gives me a place to rinse my laundry and wring out the water after its time in the washing machine!

Washing machine, with the hose aimed toward the drain.  It's actually a  Chinese squat toilet.  The hose is not long enough so I have to stand there and use my foot to aim it toward the hole, otherwise it just pools on the floor.

My washing machine, with the hose hooked up to the sink.

Also, I do not get hot water in the kitchen sink, so when I want to wash dishes I have to fill a bucket with hot water in the shower and then bring it to the kitchen to wash my things.  Luckily I don’t have to wash dishes very often because I live alone, and I eat most of my meals at the student and staff dining halls. 

At my site, the only foreigners are Mary and I, so naturally the people here are very curious to see foreigners.  I am new so I get a lot of attention.  Also, Mary says that I fit their idea of an American more than she does because she’s middle aged, and more than the previous volunteer did, who had dark hair because her father was from India.  Because of their lack of exposure to foreigners, they often do not seem to know how to react to seeing me.  Apparently it is not rude to stare because I get that a lot.  I try as much as possible to smile and say “nihao”, which often causes them to look surprised but most of them will smile in return.  I think they’re just surprised to hear me speak Chinese.  If I have time, I try to have a conversation with them in Chinese, although unfortunately they seem to think that if I can say certain things, then I must understand everything.  I can get through introducing myself and some basic small talk, and then eventually I have to tell them “ting bu dong” when they go off at me in Chinese. 

Now that I’ve been here over a week, some of the vendors get really excited when they see me, and they give me a big smile and a wave.  I look forward to being a recognized individual in the community.

I have heard of other volunteers becoming negative about all the different things and quirks in China but I hope I can overcome all that with a positive attitude.  That strategy has worked for me many times before, especially while traveling or living abroad when so many things are out of your control.  Instead of getting frustrated and angry about the inconvenient things in my apartment, I just turn on some music to make laundry or dish washing more enjoyable.  Instead of getting annoyed at all the stares, I smile and say “nihao” or “hello.”  There are a lot of things to get used to, but as long as I can find a strategy that works well enough and allows me to get by, I will be fine.

The waiting game… and my pretty new home

I have been at my apartment for one week now. I have cleaned most of my apartment and gotten a lot of the things I need, after three trips to Wal Mart.  I’ve eaten with Mary in the student cafeteria and the staff cafeteria every day.  I have relished all the free time this week, and I spent a lot of it Skyping with other volunteers, watching movies and TV shows, and doing a some crafts.  I have also spent some time getting ready to teach next week, but at this point it’s hard to do very much because I have no idea how good my students’ English will be.  I have brainstormed a list of topics that would be interesting to talk about with my students.  I pretty much know what I will be doing with my students this first week. 

In spite of it all I still feel really unprepared.  Throughout these days, I have moments of uncertainty bordering on panic when I think of having to teach and be in control of a bunch of students when I have basically no experience.  And when I say a bunch, I mean a BUNCH: I am teaching 14 different groups of students and each will have probably 50-60 students.  That’s a little mind-boggling, to say the least.  There is just so much uncertainty as to what my students will be like and what my schedule outside the classroom will be like, and even what day exactly I start teaching (I was told Monday but then I heard that freshmen don’t start until Wednesday).  I have heard many volunteers talk about the last minute notice and changes that is typical of Chinese schools.  Apparently even Chinese teachers feel frustrated with this- it’s not just something that bothers the foreign teachers.

Like I said before, I have found things to fill my time this week but I’m ready for the next thing. I haven’t felt lonely because I Skype with people and I eat with Mary.  I haven’t felt bored because I have many things at my fingertips to occupy me.  I haven’t felt in need of anything because I can find almost everything at local shops and at Wal Mart.  I think the best way to describe how I feel right now is unfulfilled.  I want to integrate and get to know the students but there are just so many that it’s kind of overwhelming.  It’s hard also because I am not much older than them so sometimes I feel like a new student at the school, but I have to remind myself that they aren’t my peers.  Mary says that once I get to know my students they will be very friendly and will often want to do stuff with me.  But at this point I am just waiting for the semester to start.  Then I will have my own students and I can get to know some of them.  Once things get rolling I will probably feel happier and more at home.

Here are some pictures of the lovely countryside by my school and apartment.

This is rice.

Rice again. I also thought it grew in water because that's what all the pictures show. There are so many rice fields like this in my area!

Look at these cuties that I saw on my walk today!!!

Ducklings!!!