Where I'm at Now

This is my most recent doodle, and it’s kind of where I am right now.  I wrote: “I want more from life than mediocre days.  I yearn for newness and discovery.  I want to keep learning every day.”  This is a reminder to myself to not become complacent.  You may be thinking, “How could she be complacent? She’s living abroad and serving in the Peace Corps!”  Yes, I am living some of my dreams. But when you are in any place long enough things become familiar and it’s easy to slip into a routine. I don’t want to stop learning and experiencing wonder just because I have gotten used to being here.  It’s a reminder to keep staying positive and to keep challenging myself.  It’s also a reminder to keep pushing on even when things get tough or frustrating (which is often).  

Feeding Frenzy

So I’m not sure why, but I’ve suddenly become obsessed with cooking and trying new recipes.  I can point to several factors that may have led to this cooking frenzy.  1, Pinterest has an amazing, mouth-watering, and never-ending array of food pictures posted by random people. 2, it’s really cold and I don’t want to go outside for every lunch and dinner, nor do I want to cook eggs, oatmeal, or noodles for every meal.  3, now that I’m done teaching I have more free time to do what I want.  4, although I totally love Chinese food, I guess maybe I got a little tired of it.  5, ok I admit, I kinda like cooking.

I have to say, I’m no expert, and not everything I try turns out very well.  But it’s definitely satisfying to go to all that work and then sit down to a steaming bowl of I-made-this-myself!  Some of my recent cooking/baking exploits include oreos baked in cookie dough (cookie inside a cookie), chili from scratch (as in, I prepared dried beans, boiled tomatoes, boiled corn on the cob, chopped hella onions, chili peppers, bell peppers, mushrooms, etc.  Canned beans and vegetables are hard to find and rather expensive here), spaghetti (I didn’t make the sauce from scratch but I improved it with hella onions, mushrooms, and some spicy powder.  In my freezer I have bananas and yogurt freezing in ice cube trays.  I am planning today or tomorrow to make some apple oatmeal streusel muffins.

Hey look! There's an oreo in my cookie!

Another thing that inspired my cooking is that I realized that just because products aren't sold in the same form that I'm used to, it doesn't mean I can't find alternate ways to make them. For example, even though I'm used to making chili with canned beans, tomatoes, and corn, and just throwing it all together, I can achieve an equally delicious chili even here in China, just by putting in some extra work.

Since I don’t have to get up early to teach, my days now consist of sleeping in late and enjoying the warm comfort of my bed and imagining what delicious food I will make that day.  Then after breakfast, I look at Pinterest for something delicious to cook next.  So I’m either eating or planning the next meal all day.  Plus finishing my grades and watching movies.  And trying to stay warm.

Another thing I forgot to say about the cooking and baking is that there are many foods from home that I miss a lot (Mexican, Italian- basically I miss variety).  So instead of wallowing in the frustration that I can't find the foods I miss, or that they're very expensive for my volunteer salary, I am trying to find ways to re-create the experience and make do with the ingredients I do have here.  Some things have to be made from scratch.  But it's liberating to know that this is possible and I don't have to do without.  For example, I can't find tortillas here but I know I can make them from scratch.  I can buy good cheese at Wal Mart (I haven't yet because I'm saving money for my winter travels) and so I can make my own Mexican food.  I even found a recipe yesterday for homemade enchilada sauce!!  What else can I do? The possibilities are very exciting.

I'm going to keep a Pinterest board of Things I've made, so you can know my experiences: http://pinterest.com/miramade/things-i-ve-made/ 

Happy moments

I feel I have been posting a bunch of negative thoughts and I wanted to counter with examples of the happy moments I have every day.

Today I left my last morning class before lunch and as I was heading down the stairs from the teaching building, I heard an excited chorus of “Mira!!” and I looked up to see four girls from that class waving excitedly at the bottom of the stairs.  I was surprised because I had just said goodbye to them.  When I got to them I could tell they had something they wanted to do say or ask, so I waited quizzically until one of them burst “Can we take a photo with you?”  I told them “of course.”  Three of them shuffled over excitedly and tucked their arms in mine and held up the ubiquitous peace sign as the fourth girl held up a cell phone.  Their energy was infectious and I couldn’t help laughing inside as they captured every possible combination of me and them, and my cheeks began to ache from the prolonged smiling.

Although my students are all between 16 and 18, they have a different maturity than Americans of the same age.  In some ways they are very childlike: they love cute things such as gloves with big bears and rabbits sewn on, and big hand warmer pillows that look like cows and pandas.  They get excited over very small things and devour the cheesy kid songs I teach them.  However I know that perhaps many of them live a hard life at home: some grew up on farms or in small homes.  They know how to make do with what they have, and it doesn’t seem to bother them too much that they live in drafty dormitories with no heating (honestly, I don’t know how they survive!).  Now, if you are reading this blog, I hope it’s because you know me. And if you know me at all, you know that I also like cute things, I get excited over small things, and I love to laugh and to make other people laugh.  So although sometimes my students baffle me, I think they’re really adorable and I have many little moments that make me happy.  In that way, this is the perfect place for me.

The Princess and the Soybean

Sometimes I feel like that girl in the fairy tale who slept with piles and piles of blankets.  Granted, she needed them to not feel the pesky pea on her mattress, and I sleep under them to feel warm!! Also, though, because Chinese mattresses are notoriously hard, I also have one blanket folded in half whose sole purpose is to cushion the mattress.  It’s been in the low 40s and high 30s for some time now.  In order to fall asleep, I wear two pairs of socks, pajama pants, three shirts, and my sweatshirt, and then I have a cotton sheet, a fleece blanket, an electric blanket, an open sleeping bag, a felt blanket, and now the new thick fleece blanket that my school gave me for Christmas.  I also wear a beanie pulled down to my nose to keep my face warm.  I hope you’re enjoying the mental image, because sometimes I chuckle to myself at the absurdity of it!  I have an air conditioner in my room that supposedly doubles as a heater but I haven’t figured out how to use it.  Of course my windows are closed, but like all the windows in my apartment, they are poorly designed so even when closed there is an infinitesimal chink between the two panes and that’s enough to let all the cold night air in.  Instead of two panes meeting at the edge, they overlap but like I said not very well.  I guess in America there’s like a rubber piece between the two so they suction together or something.

Thoughts on Chinese culture

In China, many people believe in the importance of saving face, which means that they don’t like to embarrass themselves or make mistakes in front of other people.  They will not outright tell you things, but maybe try to communicate in an indirect way.  This can be very frustrating for an American like me who is used to being told things straight up.  It also means that sometimes people will not call someone out for doing something rude or inconsiderate.  For example, whenever you wait in line for anything- buying train tickets, getting on the bus, and so on- there is never actually anything that could be called a line.  Instead there is a shoving, shuffling mob, and many people cut to the front.  Even when there is a line to buy train tickets, for example, there will be people that go straight to the front and shove their money under the window and holler out their destination.  The thing that gets me is while I’m standing their glaring, no one else seems to care.  Nobody says, “hey dude, wait in line, we’ve all been waiting for fifteen minutes!”  But watch out China, because I’ve learned the words to stay, “please stay in line” (qing pai dui) and “don’t cut” (bu yao cha dui).  The thing is that if you do call them out, then they get embarrassed and stop (usually).  So I don’t understand- some Chinese people do things are rude or inconsiderate but it’s ok as long as you don’t call them out and make them lose face.

            Right now I’m reading a book that I recommend, called Fried Eggs and Chopsticks, by Polly Evans.  It’s about a British woman who travels for a month in China, and it demonstrates her frustrations with the language and culture (as well as the rewarding things that happen, such as kindness from a stranger).  I can totally relate with a lot of things she shares.  For example, she talks about being in a restaurant and the waitress says, “Would you like some gobbledy gobbledy gook?”  That happens so many times to me!  Before traveling she did take a course in Chinese but of course it’s never the same as dealing with speaking for real.  Another time she talked about being in a taxi cab, and after exhausting the few sentences she knew, the driver kept talking and asking her questions, and no matter how many times she said ting bu dong (I don’t understand) he kept jabbering at her a mile a minute.  That also happens to me all the time.  I tell people I only know a little Chinese but they think that means I can understand everything spoken at full speed.  Even if you spoke slower I couldn’t understand you because I don’t know that many words!  I’m not saying anything against the Chinese people because this happens in other places too.  It is hard to know how much of a language someone knows.  But you’d think that once they start saying they don’t understand, you’d stop talking!  She mentions also about being a patient person but finding herself constantly short-tempered and frustrated.  I know the feeling.  I feel bad that I get so frustrated but all the simple daily things can be difficult to complete.  Luckily our Peace Corps language training was pretty thorough in teaching how to order in restaurants, so that’s not too bad.  It’s just that the language barrier can be rather inhibitive and many things are done differently than we’d expect.

            This is a tangent, but another thing that frustrates me is that I often don’t find out about schedule changes with my classes until right before.  I don’t understand why there isn’t a school calendar with the dates of holidays written in- I mean, they’re the same time every year!  I just found out today that there are no classes next Monday through Thursday because they give time off for the New Year.  I didn’t expect to get a holiday for the western New Year. I know we don’t have classes during the Chinese New Year (aka Spring Festival) because our semester’s done by then.  No one told me about these classes, until I happened to tell my class monitors that next week would be our last week of classes this semester.  Then they all said, “Oh but we don’t have classes!”  Oh.  Well now I know.  Who knows when I would have found out if I hadn’t mentioned it! 

            I hope you don’t get the wrong impression.  I am happy here. But there are definitely things that continue to be a challenge even after all this time.  I still get stared at all the time and it still sometimes bothers me although now I just try to look above people or at the ground.  Sometimes to help myself cope I talk or sing to myself.  Which doesn’t help with the staring but it calms me down.  It’s something I will have to deal with the whole time I’m in China. At my school it’s not a problem anymore, but anytime I leave my city I have to deal with it all over again.  And I seem to be leaving my site quite frequently!  It’s nice to get away and see something new and be with other volunteers.

Bingo!

Today I played Christmas bingo with my students.  I hadn't played this before because I didn't want to print a bunch of bingo cards, but today it hit me that I could just have the students draw their own! Of course!!I had already showed them my Christmas PowerPoint  so I just drew each word on the board and had them tell me what it is.  They remembered most of them, so it was a good way to review.  Then I had them draw a bingo card with four boxes by four boxes (16 total).  I had written all the words an separate pieces of paper, so then I pulled the papers out of a box.  The students really liked it, and it took me less than five minutes to prepare! I just came up with a list of Christmas words.  The only problem is that for some reason the same papers kept getting chosen so the same people were winning, until I said you couldn't win more than once.  If you do this, make sure your students draw the square right- some were just drawing pictures without boxes, or they only had 2x4.  I will definitely do this again for other holidays!

My list:

1. angel
2. bell
3. present
4. Christmas tree
5. star
6. Santa Claus
7. Santa hat
8. snowflake
9. reindeer
10. sleigh
11. hot chocolate
12. stocking
13. holly
14. snowman
15. wreath
16. candle
17. candy cane
18. ornament
19. bow
20. Christmas lights

Things my students say

   A few weeks ago, I asked students to tell me their opinions of the class. I asked: what have you learned, and what would you like to learn?  Besides the repeated requests for more games, songs, and movies, I received many compliments, many of them telling me that I'm beautiful and that I have lovely golden hair. I'm not really sure what that has to do with what they learned, but that's what I get when I give them a set number (10) of sentences to write! I thought I'd share a few of the gems with you.  They made me happy and they made me laugh.